Does it Make Sense to Catalogue My Unfinished Projects?
Does it make sense to catalogue unfinished projects?
One challenging thing that I face today, having spent years struggling to honor my creative work within the pressing context of my other responsibilities, is having too many projects that remain unfinished.
I will try to describe how this made me feel before I recently ventured to address it:
“I have a cloudy sense of a dangling magnitude of unfinished projects, a pressure so general that I can’t even grasp the thread of any detail, and a pesky question of where do I begin? Ugh, I need to do something about this feeling.”
Looking for first steps to address this, I found myself asking two questions:
“Should I catalogue these?” and “Should I then share what I find?”
Taking these steps might give me an opportunity to:
remember why I valued these projects
get a sense of where these projects were left, in their cycle of evolution
ask myself the person that I am now if I still need to resolve them
determine how invested I am in finishing them
And, as some (parts) of them have been used (as fodder or parts) for other projects, I might get a better handle on my overall process
And, if I choose to share what I find, communicating about them might increase my engagement with the work, and gift me with the discomfort of accountability
So, with the intention to list them, I found myself making a Gantt chart. Revisiting the projects might open a path. I raked through the cloudy feeling sense and defined the work abandoned. I hoped to find the threads left dangling from their phases, and see what remained meaningful since the projects were unconsciously abandoned. “Cataloguing has always been part of my process, so why not?” I thought.
Wow, I got more than I bargained for. The app I used for the Gantt chart generated information in terms of days! I have since converted it to years, so it will fit in one image.
The longest ongoing project is one that I have worked on for 17,280 days. In that time, I have done nothing to bring that project forward into a finished work. I learned that there are only two projects that I have completed in fewer than 60 days. Also, not good. Talk about accountability. I lay this truth bare here. Dear scary truth, thank you for this discomfort!
Ultimately, I decided that I have to set deadlines for myself. I need to set goals for each project and use my project management skills to produce finished products. I need to apply my own values actively to this work. I am made sufficiently uncomfortable by looking at this truth.
Poetry - 1979 - present
The longest living unfinished project is the poetry and is ongoing since I was a young teenager. It is concentrated in several time periods, although it has really been ongoing for nearly 50 years. But if I were to graph the activity level, there would be bumps in the graph at 3 places —
high school/college (pre-kids)
2003 - 2005 (UNH).
From 2022 to the present.
The poetry efforts graph would be like a camel with 3 humps. I have saved and continued to revise poems that I have been working on for that 50 years, and some of the lines of early poems went into song lyrics that I wrote between 2014 and 2020.
Yale Visual Language Project — 2003, Summer
Using a grid, and seduced by the viscosity of screen ink, I drew tiny gestural drawings by letting the viscous thread of ink dance in shapes within the tiny squares of the grid, having a trusting respect for randomness. I sought to invent and catalogue a visual language. I then layered transparencies to create imagery. Some of these are records of the process. Some of these are images in their own right. I layered them, in some cases, over ink mountain landscapes. I enjoyed making images that could be seen in varied perspective, either microscopic or immense in scale. Some of these elements made it into the later work, Pilgrimage, a work with which I have done no more than experiment in a multitude of formats including web based images and theater back drops, none of which have seen the light of day, or the dark black box of a theater.
Pathway Prints - This is the first non-thesis related body of work after art school.
Ill repute project - This is a series of screen prints that I began drawing on in series. I called the original screen print Ill Repute. I always enjoyed working in series, one image, many reifications. I found depth revisiting the same image over and over again. There are nine of them.
Large Scale Versions of Thesis Work— 2004
These are four images, 36 x 48 that I have always wanted to finish, frame and sell. In order to do so, I need a large indoor wall of space to hang them on, so that I can look at them continually. My original thesis plates were, 12 x 24. These images are made up of three plates stacked vertically, and I love working large. So, these images are 24 x36, intaglio prints. I began drawing on these in 2004 and have not gone back into them since. This is a space issue, at this point. I want to solve this. Currently, I have only one large wall to work on presently and it is taken up by by the five paining series I am making, inspired by the protagonist of my novel, Bonnie Lender.
Saffron Alphabet — 2004, Summer
This is an alphabet that I drew by soaking saffron in water and drawing with a saffron stain soaked brush, but I only made four or five letters. I think I would like to finish it. This is maybe as close as I have gotten to designing a font.
Angst and Euphoria — 2004, Summer
These are characters, a moth and another unidentified insect, that I named Angst and Euphoria, metaphors for two challenging, unbalanced states of mind.
The Relationship of all Spiritual/Religious beliefs represented “graphically” — (since) 2006
This is an idea that keeps floating back to me. I originally thought of it as a physical object, many layers of plexiglass panels through which one could view the object in its entirety. The panels could also be pulled out individually. They would be labeled. Making it would be easy, gradually. I would only have to purchase one sheet of plexiglass at a time, as long as I established the center of it, and each panel was the same size as all of the others.
Leaves of Absence — 2007
This is photographic work that I completed in 2007 when I was on leave of absence from Harvard.
The project title is a play on words that marks my own era. The images were taken on old gravestones whose surfaces bore the patina of passed time, harsh weather, stillness and neglect, — three influences that improve materials. I printed them with a large format printer on a gorgeous paper and I still love them. I am pretty sure that I would need permission to publish them here, as the cemetery where I shot them has rules about that, so I need to seek that permission.
Puppets of Faculty — 2003
Although I have no record of this project, I continue to think of it fondly as it arose accidentally in the last several weeks of my undergrad art program. All of the thesis work was turned in and my grad school was secured. Several BFA students had dropped out of our program so my overall studio space became increasingly large. I was just goofing around one day and began to make puppet heads. I drilled some holes in a block of wood a stuck the puppets on dowels so that I could look at them. I had a massive space at the time with a rocking chair in the middle and one of my profs looked at the paper bag papier-mâché heads I had mounted on sticks, and asked, “Is that the faculty?” I looked over at the display and realized that it was. By height, gesture, attitude, each one was representing one of he professors I had studied with. My fondness for this project is rooted in the intuitiveness with which it was created. I didn’t set out to make faculty puppets. I just made puppets and them realized what I had made. So cool. I wish I had kept it, or photographed it.
Frail Pink Dress — 2005- 2016
One of the largest projects and one with the most legitimate reason for abandoning it. A musical in which the protagonist tells the story of what it is like to love someone who suffers from addiction. The set designs, the thirteen songs, the essential story line…this is one of the most fully developed projects that I ever engaged with. And then my brother died of addiction and it became too sad to face.
100+ Songs, Music and Lyrics — 2014 - 2020
I have been feeling like this could be furthered if all lyrics, chords and titles were documented and then, beyond that, if they were each fully arranged and set in musical notation. From that I would be satisfied if a selection of them were professionally recorded.
SOE — 2017
A collection of personal aesthetics philosophies. I had wanted to combine them in a book, at one point. Some of them can be used in the Ravaged Nest Creative Actualization text.
Secret Keeper of the Irises — 2018
A cartoon corporate satire designed to increase awareness of the silliness of corporate designations of success, such as rings and watches, plaques and certificates, as well as to call out the ineffectiveness of what can be called the “Mean Mugger Management” style. I began this is the final weeks of an unbearable corporate environment. I drew the images during droning meetings. Do you think they could tell I was on my way out?
The Threadbare Tarot Deck — 2018
See video for explanation of foundational thinking for this deck. 18 months of drawing at open mics. Used FPD elements for imagery. Deck, YouTube channel (1000 subs) Unique Tarot philosophy. I didn’t want to make the deck unless it could be quality so I did an over-reach on Kickstarter which failed. Shout out to the few loyal fans of Threadbare Tarot Deck who still ask me if I am going to produce it. Probably not.
Saffron Utopia Project — 2018
Utopian vision for eradicating heroin production by increasing the need for saffron dye.
Dad Dream Project — 2019 When my dad was dying, while dozing off at his death bed, I had a dream of his entire life in a distinct color palette. The next morning, I got up and write it down in detail. I have always wanted to make a visual representation of it.
Pilgrimage Project — 2019
Assembled from Yale project. Pilgrimage, a work with which I have done no more than experiment in a multitude of formats including web based images and theater back drops, none of which have seen the light of day, or the dark black box of a theater. Embarrassing.
Ravaged Nest Album 2018 — 2023
Collaboration project between me (singer, songwriter, guitar, vocal and production consultant), Snake (bass and production consultant), and Nevin (multi-instrumentalist, sound engineer and production consultant). Completed and on all platforms in 2023.
Ravaged Nest, novel — 2021 - 2025
400 pages written over four years(so far). Finishing means building an audience of people who would identify with my protagonist, who is anyone returning to what they love after satisfying the long held responsibilities of family or career, and self publishing.
Ravaged Nest, novel broken into forty scenes. 2022 - 2026
While writing Ravaged Nest, the novel, I have studied film, being largely a visual person. When I learned that a two hour movie typically consists of forty scenes, I decided that I want to list the forty scenes that would depict my novel. Of course this is not the standard approach to screen writing, which I have also studied, but I will enjoy visualizing it.
(Ravaged Nest) Creative Actualization Non Fiction Book — 2024
I have a lot of philosophies about creating things and I have been gathering them. I would love to compile them for this Ravaged Nest audience that I imagine.
5 Paintings to leave for the kids — 2023/2024/2025
Inspired by the actions of the main character of my Ravaged Nest novel, Bonnie. In the novel, she makes a series of vertical paintings that, hung together, make a long horizontal landscape. She doesn’t think about her children when she makes them, but she parents her painting, allowing each to develop individually (5 verticals) while making sure the whole (1 horizontal) hangs together. I decided to take my character’s advice. The thing is, the kids are always changing so I have to try to captivate the essence of them, that which never changes in their spirit. Each of these has one of my five kids names on the back.
Video Poem — 6/2024
This is a project that I started in 2024 and did not effectively complete. It’s in a poorly edited state.
Essence of Birches — Summer of 2024 (5/24-10/24 and 9/25-11/25)
This kept me busy and was an opportunity to express myself in 2024. I’ve sold a few. I have a coffee house show of these in January and February of 2026.
Fish — Project I am currently contemplating.